On November 26th, I decided to make a major change in my life.  

I quit drinking alcohol and dedicated my mission toward a clean, #sustainable food diet (made up of foods that are organically and sustainable raised and don't hurt the earth's climate or environment) and healthy lifestyle.  That meant being cognizant of my mental health, as well, and not engaging in anything that would jeopardize it (including over-indulgence of social media).

I made it through the Holidays without taking a single sip of champagne (a huge one for me) and, though I did partake of heavier Holiday foods, I made sure it was fair-trade and firmly planted in #regenerativeagriculture.

Now that we are in January 2024, I'm committing myself to a year of clean eating, cutting down the sugars and unhealthy fats, engaging instead in more exercise, therapy for a mental-health-awareness tune-up, and pursuing those things in my career that truly give back to me -- like acting, writing, producing and directing.

The added benefits of a healthy lifestyle impact not just you, but also those around you (when we are more optimistic, we share the joy and #positiveoutlook) and the environment. But don't just take my word for it, watch "You Are What You Eat," currently on #Netflix. Check out the trailer:

That means finishing #loveandvodkamovie (www.love-vodka-movie.com) and getting it ready for #FILMFESTIVALS and #FILMDISTRIBUTION as well as making progress on developing my #feature #KIDNAPPINGLOVEMOVIE (www.personaeentertainmentpictures.com) for #production. And #acting - wohoo - can NOT wait to get back into the groove in my acting. I do love it so and it makes me feel so amazing.  

First things first on that front: #HEADSHOTS ! 

I got my first headshots when I was 14 and would say that I've had some great ones that really worked for me in my career. Now that the Covid-19 Lockdown is a thing of the past and I'm ready to come out of my pandemic-cave, I need new ones - and it's always good to get a refresher course and be freshly inspired on how to go about getting ready! 

I like this tutorial on how to prepare for Actors Headshots, as the tips are pertinent not only for actors, but anyone who needs new professional pics (and, let's face it, in today's online world, we all do).  And though I knew all of these tricks-of-the-trade, once upon a time,  I think Audrey Hope (disclaimer: I do not know Audrey, but found her video after doing some research - she had one of the better videos I've seen. Great job, Audrey!)

​Did I mention that I'm also working on a refresher on being better organized?  Look, I'm GenX, I've been around the proverbial cleaning and organizational block a few times. I used to get paid as a top executive assistant to help top VIP Execs become and stay administratively organized and make sure the office was well-managed.

But over the years, I've noticed of late that I've gone through a bit of burnout. Especially since I've gone from organizing someone else's life for a profession to organizing a whole household, including my mother's, AND running a global business.  It's exhausting just thinking about it.

How to get re-energized and refocus my energies so that they are aligned?  Well, I have to say that I really liked #CLEANMYSPACE and their #YOUTUBE tutorial.

​If you're a woman in film & television like me, with your own production company, fiscally responsible and juggling with career with family, you totally get that being in the know of the latest organizational tools is a MUST.

I still love #Outlook and #Google apps and #Slack, I must admit. But I'm always looking for new apps to work with my various #teams.   Right now, for example, I've got two separate teams in #postproduction for #LOVEANDVODKAMOVIE - and I'll eventually need to merge their workflows into one.   That might take a new app to coordinate and drive forward.

Don't get me wrong, I used to always be in the know... but these tools have changed so much in last several years (the pandemic was like a warp speed  vehicle for online services), so I can't get enough in researching what the latest and greatest online organizational products and services are for getting my act together and moving forward in my #careergoals (without falling back in my finances).

I really like the YouTube video by Efficient App (Alex & Andra) - they do a great job of outlining new apps and how they differentiate. 

​
So join me on my journey and follow me on #INSTAGRAM to not only keep up with how I'm doing, but also share if you are doing the same, and if you have healthy recipes or tips on how to be better organized or motivation strategies for exercise - let me know! 

We are all in this together and by this time around the sun, I've come to embrace that when the learning stops, the creativity and excitement stop.  So let's get learning! 

Over the course of the last four years, while moving abroad from Ypsilanti, Michigan / Schenectady, New York to Hamburg, Germany (2018) and then Berlin (2019), all while continuing with her M.B.A. in Management graduate studies at Eastern Michigan University's College of Business AND being a mom to two teenagers adjusting to life as international expats abroad, I penned my first romantic comedy about a couple renewing their love and rekindling their romance in their marriage after  their 20th wedding anniversary -- KIDNAPPING LOVE.

Working with Tim Albaugh who I first met via UCLA's Professional Advanced Screenwriting program before he moved not to form the consulting business ProPath Screenwriting business, I kept at the screenwriting process, working on and off whenever I could carve out the time, and never let go until... finally... it felt like I had something I could send to a couple of choice competitions.

The patience and hard work has been proving itself worthy: "Kidnapping Love" made it to the quarterfinals of the ScreenCraft Fellowship Competition 2022 and was in the top 15% of over 5,500 entries in the Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting Competition.

As a result of these competitions, I've gone back to the pages and plan on making several tweaks -- but feel very excited about the response my first feature film screenplay has received. I have two other screenplays I plan on going back to revisit and tighten, as well as a new action comedy that I can't wait to start.

Now that my eldest child is off to college and I've finished my M.B.A. in Management, I finally have the time.  

​Check back here for more details -- Not sure what happened between now and October 2019 (sheesh, you'd think there was a pandemic that hit the world or something!), but I promise to work on updating the Blog much more often!

 -- andThe past several months in my spare free time, I've been logging quite a few volunteer hours, organizing a special event:
"Transatlantic Empowerment: Networking Beyond Borders" with panel guest speakers Amanda Toney, Managing Director of Stage32, and Adriana Shaw, Founder of Herflix, will take place this Friday, October 4th at 4 p.m., via Women in Film & Television Germany/Hamburg Chapter at the Hamburg Film Festival, or #filmfestHamburg.
One of the many reasons that this event is so near and dear to my heart is because, having lived and worked abroad in Germany, while also experiencing and logging professional years in the film industry in the United States, I've learned that the best thing that women can do for gaining insight, knocking out boundaries of discrimination, networking and gaining a whole new perspective on the industry and careers across borders is by intercultural communication.
I'm exceptionally excited that this event is finally coming together - tomorrow! And I'm grateful to my colleagues at WIFT Germany/Hamburg , NYWIFT, Amanda Toney and Adriana Shaw -- and the American Consulate General Hamburg -- for their support all along the way.
If you happen to be in Hamburg, please join us!
​

“Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” – BEAUTIFUL BOY (DARLING BOY), song text by John Lennon

August 9, 2019

Week two of my new beginning in blogging… of sorts.

Actually, I wrote my first “Blog” over 17 years ago after my son Maximilian was born: “Mama & Co.”
I had given birth to Max, my first child, just two weeks after graduating from Columbia University’s School of International & Public Affairs with a Master’s Degree in International Media & Communication and a regional focus on the European Union.

I hadn’t expected to be pregnant during the final year of my graduate studies at an Ivy League university in the heart of the Big Apple.  In fact, I could hardly believe that I was accepted into an “Ivy League” at all – not that didn’t have the grades or experience to back it up, but rather that EVERYONE questioned my credentials and ability to get in (except my father, who always told his daughter she could do anything).

But get in I did and I studied my little heart out to prove my worthiness.  Still, as singer/musician/song writer/activist John Lennon once wrote, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”

On September 11th, 2001, I was one of the many in New York when the Twin Towers were attacked by terrorists via hijacked planes and the tragic experience shaped me, as it did so many alive then, forever.

Prior to 9/11, I was busy with both grad studies and acting lessons (Columbia by day, T. Schreiber Studios by night), “burning my own candle at both ends,” as my father would say – and I had just returned from a summer in Berlin, where I completed a four-month internship in film development and international co-productions at acclaimed German auteur director Wim Wender’s film company, Road Movies GmbH.

Excited to be back in New York and push forward with my studies, looking forward to the job search season before me in the coming winter and spring when I aspired to land a plum position at a top film studio in Lost Angeles, I had no idea that my future, like many New Yorkers after the 9/11 tragedy would be much different.

Unlike many unfortunate victims who perished senselessly in the heinous, terrorist act, I was alive.
Sitting in my empty apartment in Hamburg now, the memories flood the space and leave me breathless.  I literally forget to breathe when reflecting back on those times. I’m actually crying as I write this, the emotions washing over me… gratitude, loss, anger, fear, sadness… awe.
Life is a wonder. I marvel at my circumstances. And like Oprah says, “What I know for sure…” is that God had different plans for me back then.

My husband’s birthday is, coincidentally, September 14th and like many transplanted New Yorkers, I wanted to stage his birthday at the World Trade Center. No kidding. I had it all planned out meticulously several weeks in advance:
I was going to meet up with him at the end of the work day, blindfold him and take him in the elevator to the very top visitors’ deck and then, “Ta-da!!!” He would take off the blindfold and find me before him with a birthday cupcake and the most incredible panoramic views of Manhattan behind me.

It was a romantic gesture to compete with the schmalziest Nora Ephron movie.

Instead, on September 14th, I found myself heading down to volunteer at the triages of Ground Zero, desperate to be of assistance in any way.  All New Yorkers – young and old— where bonded together by this singular fate and we all wanted to pitch in to rebuild our city in whatever way we could.

Thus, instead of celebrating his birthday on the top of the tallest skyscraper in New York, Niko and I ended up cherishing the day somberly at home in Bayside, Queens, grateful for the life he and I still had to appreciate.

It wasn’t until about two weeks later that I awoke one morning, not feeling so well. I won’t go into all the symptoms, but suffice it to say that one visit to the doctor and a blood test later, my universe shifted again.

“What are your daily activities since the attack? How are you taking care of yourself?” the doctor asked after performing my check-up. I told her about my volunteer work at Ground Zero.
“I wouldn’t go down there anymore,” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because it wouldn’t be good for your baby – You’re pregnant.”

One Google search on the “health effects of Ground Zero,” and we now know how unsafe and toxic the atmospheric dust surrounding Ground Zero was in the days, weeks and months after the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center.  Countless firefighters, police officers, civic servants, volunteers and citizens living near that area, who breathed in the air laced with a poisonous mixture of plane fuselage and building asbestos, are literally dying of cancer still today.

So, now, with hindsight, I see that was blessed to be pregnant in more ways than one.
And though, as I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t the “best career strategy” to be in your last trimester of pregnancy at the same time that you’re finishing your final semester of graduate school – considering the circumstances, I felt more than adequately blessed.

In fact, Niko and I named our first born son “Maximilian Amadeus” to commemorate our gratitude.
Fast forward several months after graduating in May of 2002 (I was as big as a house, but still determined to wear high heels at graduation!), the birth of Max (two weeks after graduation!) and a bout of post-graduation-post-partum-post-9/11 depression, I decided to keep myself busy during the long, lonely days of solitude and… yes, loneliness… with my newborn by challenging myself to start a daily blog about my experiences, sharing anything and everything about the shifting life for a once-sharp professional twenty-something turned dazed and confused novice mom.

I kept it up for a whole year – my goal – through thick and thin, sleepless nights,  caffeine-fueled days and milk-stained t-shirts. Writing my own blog made me feel as if I had at least some semblance of a professional life and connection to the creative me -- and was a literal Booby Prize for not getting that sought-after job at a big Hollywood studio in L.A.

I told myself that, at the very least, the writing would be a wonderful gift to my son one day.  But perhaps, just perhaps, I could turn them into a book. (Or maybe, just maybe, a movie?)

Well, seventeen years later, and I still have those pages. All 365 or more of them. I haven’t turned them into a book as of yet and there is no movie in the works (hmmmmm?!) but I do plan to give them as a special gift to Max when he graduates from high school.

Before Maximilian Amadeus embarks on his adult life, I want him to remember how he came to be and why "life happening while you make other plans" is oftentimes the very best of things.


 
 
 

Friday, August 2, 2019 - 7:13 AM
 
A New Beginning…Of Sorts
 
It’s raining in Bergedorf, Hamburg; the pitter-patter of raindrop’s blanket of soothing sound intertwines with that of local church bells clanging away and bird’s morning chatter like a river over rocks and stones.
 
If the above words seem jumbled and out of sorts, it’s because I’m still recovering from Detroit to Hamburg jetlag.  
 
Funny, they didn’t seem that way in my head – when I found myself at 5 a.m., wide awake, unable to silence the constant traffic of words lined up into thoughts, surfing my sanity and consciousness.
 
This morning at 5 a.m., those words partied in my brain and they sounded fucking historic.
 
Words inside of one’s head have such power – until they land flat on paper (or, in this case, a computer screen) with the knowledge that anyone outside of the mind might read them and cast them lower than their original self-importance.
 
Alas, here I am, not alone, sitting with these words, aching and begging to get out, to have their fun and fifteen-minutes of not-so-famous fame.
 
There’s something about living in a foreign country that allows – no, DEMANDS—that one finally acknowledge one’s own thoughts.  
 
Let’s face it: When you are in your own country with others who speak the same language and you hear said language around you all of the time, it can be intimidating. Your thoughts line up with everyone else’s and form a sort of chain-gang, or – as I like to call it – call of the herd.
 
But when you are seemingly alone in a foreign country with a language that, even if you speak it fluently, does not curse through your veins in the same way of your native language, those thoughts of yours can begin to really stand out and get very LOUD.
 
My momentary stream of consciousness is that of a 40-something, who at one time thought she had achieved and experienced a lot in life, but now, in this silence, questions whether she has truly achieved and experienced anything at all.
 
Yesterday, I received my 20th rejection letter (if you count all the rejection letters received from A-List film festivals my first feature film received) for a writing competition designated toward Women Writers over 40.
 
As it stands at present, I have one ultra-low budget feature film awaiting its date for distribution, one (hopefully) higher budget feature film in development, am rewriting my first feature film (larger budget) for the eighth time, producing the last legs of post-production on a short film  that my 14-year-old daughter wrote, directed and acted in, and am trying to figure out how to get to NYC for an audition invitation that I really don’t want to pass up. This week.
 
Next week, I’m getting a tooth implant put in to replace a very solid, healthy tooth which I lost while chomping on a Salade Nicoise in Cannes, France during the 2018 Cannes International Film Festival and Film Market.  
 
(This is my life: I have one moment of ‘here I am world, lookie, lookie at me – I’ve got it made!’ and end up losing a major tooth from a non-pitted olive in what is, basically, a glorified garden salad with canned tuna fish).
 
And, at the same time, as it were, I’m moving from Bergedorf-Hamburg back to Berlin (where I lived in the 90’s in my twenties). Indeed, the universe has this wonky way of serving up life’s craziest of moments on the same plate all at once.
 
And the upcoming MBA fall course load for which I need to prepare….
 
The crowdfunding campaign for that indie in development I look to finish designing...
 
And the October WIFT Germany/Hamburg Panel Discussion I absolutely must finish organizing.
 
Whew. Woah. It’s a lot on paper (no wonder I can’t sleep). 
 
Yet, my innermost thoughts don’t seem phased by all of the above one bit. No. Instead, they dance around unknown, unconquered territory of the white abyss.
 
And, ultimately, I ask myself:  Am I ALONE with these experiences, or do others also go through them? 
 
Much like one of my favorite poets, Emily Dickinson, I find myself needing to write, not to stand out, but rather to find my tribe.  
 
You can only say so much with an Instagram selfie by a castle with the hashtag: #expatlife.  And so, here I am, at 7:32 a.m. on a Friday morning in the German town of Bergedorf.  Writing. 
 
As I finish these collections of words, I am cognizant of the fact that this is a privileged life of self-imposed isolation that many would give their eye tooth (the one I split on an olive in Cannes) and that I should redirect these inner thoughts toward goals of something greater than falling on a white screen just to be heard. 
 
GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD FOR THE BETTER!
 
Maybe, just maybe, by opening up as to what I really think, I might also encourage other introverts like myself to open the doors to their thoughts as well.  You can be surrounded by the most beautiful tapestries and still feel silenced… until you are heard.  
 
Maybe this exercise in putting typeset to white space is about claiming my existence.  
 
Yes, it’s fun to put your hat in the ring for public acknowledgement (and support) in this or that competition, but what is the point of such “encouraging” competitions when they leave you feeling crappier about yourself, your talent and accomplishments after entering than you did before?
 
Maybe the real magic is in the doing?
 
I have written many a blog and article and essay and journal in the past, but this time is different. This time is about the beginning toward the end. When you reach your post mid-40-something years (how’s that for vagueness? I won’t let you age-discriminate me! LOL), and many of your loved ones have left you for the unknown after-life, you wake up to the realization that it is your turn to leave something of a legacy for the younger generations behind you. 
 
(They might not know it and are damned if they’ll acknowledge it, but sometime soon they will need your random words to act as a balm for their own!)
 
Here’s the absolute inner truth of my soul right now, at this moment, alone in my Bergedorf flat, far away from home, writing with jetlag: 
 
I wish, more than anything, that my dearly departed father and grandparents, and uncles and aunts, and cousins, and mentors, and friends – all of those who have passed on to the next world, that “undiscovered country from which no traveler returns” (Shakespeare: Hamlet) – would have left more random thoughts and musings for me to read.
 
I would love to bring their thoughts into this lonely and fearful heart.  I miss them. So. Terribly.
 
Truth is, they probably, like you and I, thought that those racing thoughts – the ones that wake us in the still of the night and would rather send us to the refrigerator than truly reveal themselves – did not matter or count.  They most likely drowned those thoughts in tormented self-pity and cruel atonement, as I did this morning when I initially mused, “Who would want to read them, anyway?”
 
I would. I would have wanted to read their thoughts any way, any how, any where.
 
And that is why I write. 
 
PS. I just read the above jumble of collected words to my husband, who, wondering what I was passionately typing like a beast on the computer, stopped on his way to work this morning to inquire and listen. 
 
“You have such a gift. You should keep writing,” he said.
 
;)

When newly appointed University of Michigan Residential College Communications & Outreach Coordinator Robby Griswold reached out to me last spring to ask if I'd like to be their first alumna featured in an interview within the pages of their brand new RC News, I jumped - up and down - many times!
"Are you KIDDING ME? It would be the greatest honor," I responded.
The Residential College rescued me - literally rescued me as a lost university student. Back in the early 90's I was so overwhelmed by all the choices and had an idea of what I loved, but no clue how to put it all together. 
"Film, Theater and German Literature - can I put that all together?" I wondered, aloud.
"Yep - if you do an Independent Concentration," my RC counselor replied.
And that is exactly what I did.
Looking back, it's hard to believe, but that was the PERFECT concentration for me - as I've used every bit of it in my life and career.  Heck, take a look at my bio on this website and you'll see for yourself.
In any case, I can't believe that I've received the honor of being interviewed for RC News and that my story may inspire other current - and future - students (like my son or daughter?).  I remember feeling like such a mess back then, full of hopes and dreams and no idea how to make them happen, but the amazing faculty and staff at the University of Michigan Residential College GOT ME and believed in me and showed me the way. 
They had inspired vision in ME - of whom I might become one day.
So glad that they still feel that way -- I may not be done with my life's journey yet, but I work hard every day to prove them right in taking a chance on this girl from Ypsilanti, Michigan.
Check out the interview (and the rest of the magazine!) by clicking HERE.
Happy Reading!

​
OCTOBER 18TH TO 26TH - Anytime, Anywhere with a Smartphone, Tablet or Computer
First up, the Cutting Edge Film Fest, which takes place in a VIRTUAL THEATER between October 18th and 26th.  

For tickets and more information, go to: http://cuttingedgefilmfest.com/2018-cutting-edge-film-festival-selections/

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26TH - 2 p.m. 
at Morris Memorial, 
17 Park Row,  
Chatham, NY 12037

FILM COLUMBIA FILM FEST
And then, for those of you who enjoy the full-on, film festival-going theater experience (complete with the entertaining Q & A!), the prestigious, upstate New York gem-of-a-fest,  the Film Columbia Film Fest is offering DARCY alongside a bounty of breath-taking films to experience all within walking distance in the quaint town of Chatham, New York.
You can get tickets (or festival passes) here: ​https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pe.c/10333906

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4th - 3:15 p.m.
at The Little Theatre – #1240 East Avenue 
Rochester, NY 14604

Darcy is headed to Rochester, New York (the birthplace of Kodak Film!) for a grand screening and glorious Q & A at the HIGH FALLS WOMEN'S FILM FESTIVAL!!!
Get ready, because this will be a good one! Directors Heidi Philipsen and Jon Russell Cring will be there to interact with the audience.
Tickets: http://highfallsfilmfestival.com/2018/films/darcy-with-qa/

Well, THAT was a jump!
It's been a while since my last Blog - in fact, as I look at my most recent Blog announcement about my interview on The Other 50%, I have a hard time believing that that was still this year: 2018.
I'm currently sitting and writing these words from the temporary apartment in Hamburg, Germany. Yep. I've packed up everything - literally, everything in a 40-foot-container, and moved abroad to Germany.
"Why?" you ask.
A variety of reasons, really. For one thing, I've been brought on for my Solo Directorial Debut of a German-Austrian indie co-production feature film called, "Maria Sucht Josef" - or, in English, "Mary Seeks Joe."
I'll go more into the film's synopsis and details at another time, but suffice it to say that when an opportunity to take on such an amazing project comes knocking on your door, if you are me, you answer and go!
In any case, there have been so many things that I really should post to catch you all up on the last - what? FIVE months - since the March 2018 blog, and I promise, now that I'm more or less in one spot, to do so over the next several weeks.​
​As a teaser... just so you know... I've enjoyed many a film fest for "Darcy," gone to the Cannes Film Fest in May, climbed mountains in Tirol, Austria on a location scout for "Maria Sucht Josef," finished the first year of my MBA program at Eastern Michigan University, and have had the blessed fortune to be featured in several press pieces, interviews, film reviews and the like.
What's up next?
Well, just signed up for UCLA's Advanced Screenwriting so that I can fine-tune my two feature films, starting my second year of my MBA in Management at Eastern Michigan University, am currently producing a short film called "FutureHealth" for a writer/director in Copenhagen, Denmark, and am about to start development for another indie feature film (which I won't name yet, because it's a surprise!)
Life in Hamburg, Germany has been one amazing change for me -- and I have to say that it's a refreshing one, full of new trials and tribulations.  But that is the adventure of life, isn't it. Don't shy away from new challenges, just because they mean you have to jump.
Not all jumping off of a bridge is fatal.  Sometimes, you learn to spread your wings and fly.
Until the next Blog -- Auf Wiedersehen!
​Heidi

Hot off the Podcast Press:
Mid-March interview with Julie Walker Harris of The Other 50% - Herstory of Hollywood - Podcast.  Click on the icon below to go to the link and interview!